Have you ever played Wii Fit? My first experience was at my parents’ home a couple of Christmases ago, and I was hooked. I loved how it measured and tracked my weight and BMI, and how there were so many fun activities I could do – yoga, balance games, aerobics, etc. We ended up getting our own soon after and I used it often during the winter months.
We don’t have a scale, but the Wii fit board acts as one. I fought the urge to weigh myself a week after Shasta was born. I was so ready to get my normal body back. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately in this case, I couldn’t move very easily after the C-Section, so I decided to wait until a bit later. I think I lasted about three months without weighing myself, but I thought about it many times. When I finally did start up again, I made a weight loss goal as prompted by the friendly waving fit board. I could lose a few pounds easily, right? I wasn’t eating for two anymore. Should be a breeze. So every few days I’d pop on, and felt really good when I lost 0.2 kilos, but really bad when I gained anything. And it seemed like the latter occurred more frequently than the former.
I started questioning my deep desire for losing weight. Why exactly did I want to lose a few pounds? I was a little under the Wii’s suggested BMI of 22, and people have been telling me I look good. Was losing three pounds going to make me more attractive? Possibly. But why do I need that? I have a husband who loves me and assures me again and again that I look good. Would losing three pounds help me make more friends? I seriously doubt it. Would losing three pounds make me feel better about myself? Maybe. But I am fairly confident that it wouldn’t be enough. I know myself, and once I reached that goal, I’d think, “Okay, I did that, now let’s see if I can lose a bit more.”
I’m pretty sure that most people, especially most female people, have issues with self-esteem. It’s not that I have a terribly low self-esteem – I’m generally pretty comfortable with the way I look. But not totally. And that is what I want to change this year.
I came across this on facebook the other day:
and I thought… yes. That is what I need. I need to be HEALTHY, not skinny. And you know what? I AM a healthy person. I eat really well and I exercise every day. I do eat a lot of sweets, but I’m not going to stop just so I can be skinnier. It is possible to eat dessert and be healthy. It’s all about the balance, right?
So here is to loving myself this year. And I hope you will love yourself too.