My New Year's Resolution

January 4, 2013

Have you ever played Wii Fit?  My first experience was at my parents’ home a couple of Christmases ago, and I was hooked.  I loved how it measured and tracked my weight and BMI, and how there were so many fun activities I could do – yoga, balance games, aerobics, etc.  We ended up getting our own soon after and I used it often during the winter months.

We don’t have a scale, but the Wii fit board acts as one.  I fought the urge to weigh myself a week after Shasta was born.  I was so ready to get my normal body back.  Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately in this case, I couldn’t move very easily after the C-Section, so I decided to wait until a bit later.  I think I lasted about three months without weighing myself, but I thought about it many times.  When I finally did start up again, I made a weight loss goal as prompted by the friendly waving fit board.  I could lose a few pounds easily, right?  I wasn’t eating for two anymore.  Should be a breeze.  So every few days I’d pop on, and felt really good when I lost 0.2 kilos, but really bad when I gained anything.  And it seemed like the latter occurred more frequently than the former.

I started questioning my deep desire for losing weight.  Why exactly did I want to lose a few pounds?  I was a little under the Wii’s suggested BMI of 22, and people have been telling me I look good.  Was losing three pounds going to make me more attractive?  Possibly.  But why do I need that?  I have a husband who loves me and assures me again and again that I look good.  Would losing three pounds help me make more friends?  I seriously doubt it.  Would losing three pounds make me feel better about myself?  Maybe.  But I am fairly confident that it wouldn’t be enough.  I know myself, and once I reached that goal, I’d think, “Okay, I did that, now let’s see if I can lose a bit more.”

I’m pretty sure that most people, especially most female people, have issues with self-esteem.  It’s not that I have a terribly low self-esteem – I’m generally pretty comfortable with the way I look.  But not totally.  And that is what I want to change this year.

I came across this on facebook the other day:

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and I thought… yes.  That is what I need.  I need to be HEALTHY, not skinny.  And you know what?  I AM a healthy person.  I eat really well and I exercise every day.  I do eat a lot of sweets, but I’m not going to stop just so I can be skinnier.  It is possible to eat dessert and be healthy.  It’s all about the balance, right?

So here is to loving myself this year.  And I hope you will love yourself too.

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Written by Lindsay Posted in Ramblings Tagged with healthy, loving myself, new year's resolution, weight